I found her in Junior Graphic. Yes, that’s where we used to meet new friends. I found her in the pen-pal section. She said she was outgoing and friendly and wanted to experience new people and places. I looked at her picture beside her profile. It was blurry and pixelated but I was able to see one thing I loved about her: her nose. It was pointed. When I wrote her the first letter, I joked, “Your nose. Were you pulling it often when you were younger? I love how pointed it is.”

In her reply, she didn’t talk about her nose but she said other beautiful things. How she was happy to hear from me, how she wanted us to keep exchanging letters and how she wished to see me someday. At the end of the letter she wrote, “Don’t forget to add a photo in your reply.”

So I sent a reply expressing the same joy of meeting her and the desire to meet her someday. I added a photo. I was in my school uniform, wearing a spectacle I borrowed from a friend. I added, “Now that you have a photo of me, can you send me a full photo of you?”

She did and I loved what I saw. Apart from her pointed nose, there were so many other things to love about her. She was smiling so I said she had a beautiful smile. Her teeth came shining through so I said her teeth were like pearls. Her breasts were about to come out fully. I couldn’t wait to see them in full bloom. In my next letter in 2000, I proposed to her.

It usually took one month to have a reply to a letter but that one month looked like forever. My mind was racing. “A girl from Aggrey Memorial, is she going to accept my proposal?”

Her reply came and she said yes. Come and see me. I ran around campus with the letter at the tip of my hand. I showed it to my friends. “I won a fair lady. Definitely, I’m not faint-hearted.”

We kept exchanging letters until one day we decided to meet. I had to travel from Swedru to Cape Coast. I starved so I could save some money for the travel. I borrowed from friends so I could buy a gift for her. I had to look my best so borrowed new sneakers and khaki from friends. I got to her school early and gave her name out so someone could call her for me.

READ ALSO: The Everlasting Kiss Of Ebelino

An hour later, she wasn’t there. I sent another person. Two hours later, she wasn’t there. I sent another person. She was still not coming so anyone I saw around, I gave her details to the person to get her for me. I was on her campus until the sun started to set and visitors were driven out. She didn’t come.

I stood by the roadside, alone with my gift in hand and heartbroken. I picked a car and went back to school. A few weeks later, I got a letter from her. She said, “I saw you. I was coming to meet you but you didn’t look anything close to your photos. I thought you were tall. I thought you were fair. My friends laughed when they saw it was you so I got back. I’m sorry but we can’t be lovers again.”

I wrote back. I didn’t know the kind of insults that would suffice. Voice notes would have been better but there was nothing of that nature. I put my best insults in a letter and sent it back to her. Do you know the response that came back?

“You have all these insults in your head, how will you grow taller? I’m happy I broke up with you. You’re short and also a villager. Where would I take you to? Bye-bye and don’t write to me again. If I get another letter from you, I won’t read it. I will tear it to pieces so don’t waste your stamp.”

To make matters worse, a friend found the letter and it went viral among paddies that I’ve been bounced. Heartbreaks are no man’s friend, I swear.

My Husband Looks Like A Cheat On Me |Beads Media

To cut matters short, I started going in for ladies my size. They call us fun size for a reason. Once I learned to date according to my size, I became better. I got a lot of yes and later in life settled with one of my sizes. I know our children would blame us for their heights but it was our happiness we were looking for and not theirs. Once they are here, they can also go ahead and make themselves happy. Each one for himself….

#MyFirstRelationship

—Roger

Do you have any relationship experience to share? Email it to [email protected]

NOTE: NO PART OF THIS CONTENT CAN BE REPUBLISHED OR REPRODUCED IN ANY FORM WITHOUT THE EXPLICIT CONSENT OF THE EDITORS OF THIS BLOG

#SB