After our son was born, my wife told me she had lost interest in the corporate world and would like to do her own business. I didn’t like the idea. I felt starting a business was risky and I didn’t think we had the money to start the kind of business she wanted to start. My wife is very soft and lets go very easily, especially when she feels like you’re stressing her. I felt she couldn’t withstand the business environment, so I told her, “If it’s the baby that’s the problem, we can get one of our parents in to help so we can focus on our work. She insisted she wanted to start her own business and I agreed.

She had some money saved but it was nowhere near what she wanted. I put in my savings too but all that could get us was a shop. We invested heavily in the shop because the kind of business she wanted to do could benefit from a strategic location. When it came to stocking the shop, I had to go for a loan from the office to be able to stock the shop. A happy wife is a happy home so I was ready and willing to go all out to ensure her dream of business ownership was realized.

After the shop was set up, we went broke. When I say broke, I mean broke with nothing in our accounts. We had to live on my paycheque because the business wasn’t doing well. I took the loan on my salary so my disposable income was badly affected. I had hopes that soon the business would pick up so both of us can have certain reliefs. 

A year later, we hadn’t made a dime out of the business. We were not even breaking even. All I had from my wife were excuses; “A lot of people are owing me and it’s becoming difficult to retrieve my money. They are the people running down the shop.” I responded, “Then don’t sell on credit. If it’s hard to retrieve your money then why do you keep selling on credit?” Her response was, “These are the people I trusted because of their pedigree. And selling on credit also helps to make more sales so we can’t write it off.”

She worked in the shop for a year and still didn’t contribute to the payment of anything in the house. It became very tough when our child was about to start school. The fee was very huge for a child his age. His fee alone was about 60% of my monthly salary. I told my wife, “This can’t work. He’s still a child. We can either wait for him to start next year or take him to another school that charges less. We are not rich, far from that, so we can’t live our lives as rich people do.”

She didn’t want to understand me and I wasn’t ready to allow her to make a decision that would eventually affect my bottom line. After all, I was the one going to pay for everything. She had the shop but she had never contributed to any domestic expenses, even toiletries, she would bring it from the shop and take money from me because I had told her not to sell on credit. 

The issue about the school brought a huge fight that nearly shook the foundations of our marriage but in the end, we healed and most importantly I had my way. We took him to a less expensive school and I paid a taxi driver to be bringing him home every day. Another cost to me.

One early morning, an angry woman walked into our home without knocking. She was screaming my wife’s name and throwing insults here and there. My wife was still sleeping so I was the one who walked out and met up with the woman. I asked what the issue was. She was still screaming. I pleaded with her to calm down so we resolve the issue. She kept screaming; “I’m not interested in talking to you. It’s your wife I came for. That good-for-nothing woman who thinks she can sit on my money while I starve.” 

My wife heard the commotion but she didn’t come out. She heard her name being mentioned but she stayed in the room as if she wasn’t the one the woman was looking for. The bottom line of the issue was that my wife had bought certain items from her on credit and was refusing to pay. I asked her to give us some time to raise the money but she said no. “I’m going to take my money today before I leave. Else, I’m going to spend the rest of my days here.”

She was drawing attention. Neighbours were coming to ask what the issue was and this woman would narrate the whole story to anyone who asked. It was getting embarrassing so I gave her half of the money and promised to pay the half a week later. She understood me and left. I asked my wife about it and all she could say was, “Don’t mind that witch. Am I the only one who’s owing? People are owing me too so should I pick a gun and visit them in the morning?”

A couple of weeks later, another woman came to our compound to display. She came in the night when everyone was sleeping just to cause a scene. I asked my wife, “You buy on credit from them and also show them where you live?” Her answer was, “She’s friends with the one who came here first and I believe she told her what happened that’s why she’s also doing the same.” That night, I paid what she owed. I told my wife, “If any person walks in here again claiming that you owe her, I won’t interfere. I will just walk out with our son and come back when there’s calm.”

The next one didn’t come home. He went to her shop with the police to get her arrested. I was at work when her friend called me. She said, “Your wife called me. She said if she calls you, you won’t mind her but her situation is dire. I don’t have anything on me to bail her out. Please do something.”

I went to the shop, spoke to the guy man-to-man and he understood me. He gave me some days to pay the money and I agreed. When they left, I closed the shop and took the keys with me. “You can’t open a shop and deal in debt. If all we do is pay debts, then what’s the point?” 

My intention was to close the shop for good or look for someone else to operate it so my wife can go back to her corporate world. There was no negotiation I was going to fall for but her mom called me. Her dad also called me. Our pastor called. They all told me they had spoken to her and that she was going to do well going forward.

I visited our pastor and she told me one thing that made me feel like a fool. She said, “Have you taken your time to investigate all these debts you’re paying? It might be a symptom of a bigger problem. Don’t stay there and heal the symptoms. Dig deep to know what the problem is and solve it.” I was looking like a fool in her presence because I hadn’t given much thought to that. That day when I went home, I started looking through her things. I found bank receipts where she had made huge payments to people. One of the names was a guy called Hasan. I saw two receipts in his name.

I presumed she bought from him and made a payment but as the pastor told me, I didn’t want to assume anything so I went through her phone to monitor her deals. I saw the Hasan name again. Their last chat was about three months ago. They had exchanged photos and voice notes. I took my time to listen to all the voice notes and the corresponding photos. Hasan was a connection man who was helping my wife to travel abroad. The pictures were pictures of the travelling documents Hasan sent to her. He would send those pictures to tell her the stage he had gotten to and demand money from her. 

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In one of the voice notes, my wife was threatening him to return her money else, she would report him to the police for his arrest. Hasan took her money but didn’t deliver. From the receipt I saw, my wife had transferred over GHC50,000 to Hasan. 

My heart was boiling. I wanted to kick her out of bed and start asking her questions but something told me, “Keep going. There is more to find out.”

I kept going through her messages. She had started another travelling conversation with an agency. I think when Hasan disappointed her, she learned her lessons. The Agency was telling her what she had to do and the amount involved and everything. The agent asked her, “Are you travelling alone or with your family?” She answered, “I’m travelling alone but I have a child so I will come for him later.”

That was when I woke her up. “Who is Hasan? You better not lie or else the sun will rise on your corpse.” When she saw the receipt in my hands, she thought that was all I had so she told me, “He’s a supplier. I buy from her from time to time and pay later.” I told her, “I have your phone with me and have read your messages. You still say he’s a supplier?” She went dumb. I screamed, “Speak before I do my worse. You take me for a fool, right? I’m surrounded by debt because of you. I thought I was helping you build a business not knowing I was pushing you on your evil agenda. You’re talking to an agency now. I wish you well.”

She started pleading and speaking in soft tones; “It’s not like that. I’m doing all that for the family. I know if I tell you, you won’t agree to do it, that’s why I decided to do it all alone.”

 I had debts to pay because of her. I wasn’t the man I used to be because of the wife I married. The first person I spoke to about my findings was the pastor. She said, “Would you like to pray about it?” I answered, “I will like to walk away because of it.” She said she was going to support us in prayer but I didn’t believe that was the way. There was no way I was going to trust her again, the fact that she was leaving with my son without any mention of my name anywhere got me scared. 

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I got a divorce so she could go ahead with her dreams. “Two people can’t go the same direction unless they agree,” the Bible said. There was no way I was going to trust her again and there was no way I was going to buy into her dubious dreams. I let her go but I wished her well. I gave her the shop and everything that was left in it and it will surprise you to know that the shop is doing marvellously well now. We are both co-parenting our child. She takes care of him and I pay the bills. Life is good. Maybe I will try again at some point in my life. Maybe not. After all, what do I need? A child? I have one. A companion? Time will tell.

–Doe

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