I gained late admission to the university so I had to attend lectures the very day I reported to the residence hall. After my first class, I made my way to the hall for my second lecture. When I got there I noticed there was an event going on in the lecture hall. So I got a chair and sat outside waiting for the event to end. While I was there I saw a handsome gentleman staring at me. He looked very busy so I concluded that he was part of the organizers. After a long staring contest between us, he came over to talk to me.

“Hey beautiful, what’s your name?” he asked. I smiled, “I am Yaa Baby.” He then asked if I was a fresher and I nodded in response. The entire time we were talking he was looking at me intently. It was the kind of look that said, “You are the most beautiful woman I have ever met.” I told him, “I see that you are busy so don’t let me take all your time. He confirmed that he had to go, but before he left he asked for my number. I didn’t want to drag things out so I gave it to him. “Thank you, Yaa Baby. You are very beautiful and I look forward to getting to know you.”

Later that evening, he called and asked for permission to visit me in the residence hall. I agreed and he came. We talked for a few minutes. My roommate was around so I introduced them to each other. I had to step out for a minute so I did. On my return, I saw them through a crack in the door. He was standing very close to her and was asking for her number. My roommate rudely refused to give the number to him. I didn’t say anything to either of them when I entered the room. That should have given me insight into who he is but I told myself that he was just being nice to her.

Things were a little awkward when I got there so he asked to leave. I walked him out of the room and realized that all the boys we met mentioned his name. “Why does everyone know you?” He showed me a campaign flier with his photo on it. He was running for NUGS president. It all made sense then.

He came to my hall to campaign every day, and when he did, he visited me. After we spent some time getting to know each other he told me, “I am in love with you. And I want you to be my girlfriend.” I responded, “I need some time to think about this.” He was okay with that. And though I hadn’t given him an answer, he still came to visit me every day. After a lot of consideration, I decided to give him a chance. I told him, “I will be your girlfriend but you have to understand that we won’t engage in intimacy until marriage. This brings me to the second point, I don’t believe in dating without aim. I am saying yes with the intent that we will eventually get married.” He excitedly said yes to all of it.

The next day he came to visit me and I was alone. He started getting touchy. I stopped him immediately and reminded him of our ground rules. He apologized and stopped. The next time it happened again, I was at his place. This guy locked the door and hid the key. I didn’t know until I tried to escape his clutches when he wouldn’t take no for an answer. He tried to force me. I’m tiny but that day I got to know my own strength. He used his manly strength but I fought with everything I had to lose. While we were struggling he told me he wouldn’t wait till marriage because he did not intend to get married anytime soon. It took more than an hour of us struggling for him to give up and open the door for me to leave.

I stopped talking to him after I left his place. He called several times but I didn’t pick up any of them. So he came to my room to apologize. He made me believe he wouldn’t try that again. I forgave him. A part of me had begun to love him so I gave him a second chance. To avoid a repeat of what happened, I stopped visiting him for some time. He was the one who always visited me. He would call me at dawn to meet him at the entrance of my hall so we go to the library together. It was ok. He put on his best behaviour and I believed that it was love.

At some point, my roommate gained admission to a different school and left. A new girl was brought to my room and we got along very well. I introduced Mord to her as my boyfriend and they seemed to get along as well. Neither of us had a computer so we mostly used Mord’s laptop to do assignments and watch movies. One day she asked if she could use the laptop for her assignment. It wasn’t with me so I spoke to Mord about it. He agreed to bring it to our room but he didn’t. When I called him that evening he said he was tired from his rounds so my roommate should come to his hall for it.

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She went and didn’t return until two hours later. His hall was close to ours so I didn’t understand the hold-up. However, I didn’t also get suspicious. I was very trusting back then. When she returned she was panting heavily. She told me he locked the door and tried to force himself on her. She narrated everything to me, “He kept saying he had to have me because he couldn’t resist me. Why would he do that?” I knew what she was saying because he did the same thing to me. I shouldn’t have been surprised but I was. I truly believed he had changed. That’s why I didn’t think twice about letting my roommate go to him.

She asked me not to say anything to him. She said it would make her look like she can’t keep a secret or that she wasn’t mature enough to handle these kinds of situations. Although I was naive then, I couldn’t not ask him so I went out and called him. He denied everything I asked him. If I didn’t know him well enough I would have believed him. Immediately I got back to my room, my roommate asked me, “Why did you ask him? You said you wouldn’t. Now he is angry with me for telling you.” The guy tried to rape her, so I didn’t understand why she cared about his feelings. She was disappointed in me but I didn’t care. I no longer saw the need to continue my relationship with Mord so I broke up with him.

He tried his best to get my attention but my mind was made up. He called my sister several times to speak to me on his behalf. He apologized to me many times but none of it mattered. I knew what I wanted and it is not a man who lacks self-discipline and self-respect, doesn’t know where I fit in his plans, and most especially, lacks God Consciousness.

I met a guy some months after that incident and couldn’t be happier. Mord found out I was going out with the guy so he sent me messages about how I’m the best woman he has met in his life. I didn’t respond. At a point, he got the message and stopped. But after a year, he sent me messages on Facebook but I didn’t mind him. I changed my WhatsApp number so he couldn’t reach me. After I graduated and left campus, he sent me more messages on Facebook. He told me about his failed relationships and how he hasn’t met someone like me since I left him.

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The last time I heard from him, he said wants me back and that he regrets everything. It seems he is now ready to settle down. He won the NUGS presidency and got a master’s degree. He seems to be doing well in life. I read his messages, but I didn’t respond to any of them. I deleted my Facebook account so he wouldn’t know how to contact me anymore.

I’m not married yet. I am no longer with my campus boyfriend because of family issues. But I know that even if Mord was the only man on earth, I will not ever consider being with him.

–Yaa Baby

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