For one year I have felt something wasn’t quite right in my relationship. It all has to do with a woman my boyfriend introduced to me as his godmother. She is a pastor who is married with three children. However, something about her didn’t feel sacred. I felt there was more to their relationship beyond what I was told. However, my boyfriend was always quick to call me crazy for questioning the nature of their relationship.

I knew I wasn’t crazy. I am a woman. I can tell when another woman is not happy to see me around her man, and that was the kind of energy that radiated off the woman whenever we were all together at my boyfriend’s place. Sometimes she would be with us till late in the night before she goes home.

The more I saw how they related with each other the more I was convinced that they were hiding something. They just seemed too close for a regular godmother-godson relationship. I remember how he reacted when I confronted him about my suspicions. He was defensive, “Oh you won’t understand. She has been very helpful to me, that’s why we are close. Don’t be a bitter person.”

I didn’t want to create problems where there were none so I let it go for a while. However, I chanced upon a message on his phone. It was between the two of them. She sent him a long text confessing her feelings for him and his response was, “I am sorry but you know I can’t lose you two.” I wanted to scroll up to read the genesis of the thread but he walked right in so I didn’t get the chance. Nonetheless, that didn’t stop me from confronting him about what I saw. This time he was very rude to me. He went as far as calling me nasty names to try and make it look like I was the one looking for problems where there were no problems.

He even asked his mum to call me and talk me out of my insane accusations. When his mother called, I explained to her what made me uncomfortable about the relationship. She told me she would speak to both my boyfriend and the woman, and we would all get to the bottom of the issue. I didn’t hear from her again regarding the topic. Along the line, my boyfriend and I were out in town when we ran into this godmother of his. I was on the phone so I didn’t see her. She said I saw her but because I didn’t like her, I looked away.

Her accusation caused a fight between my man and me. He said I was a bitter and selfish person who wanted to create problems between him and someone who meant a lot to him. That day, I resolved never to cross paths with the woman ever again. One of his church pastors had to get involved in the matter before it was resolved.

READ ALSO: Cheating Men Spend A Lot Of Time In The Toilet

A few months later, this woman came to me that we should settle whatever problems we have between us and do well to get along. During our conversation, she kept saying, “I don’t know what I have done to you that you don’t like me. You are a nice girl, and I am happy that my godson found someone like you. But all you do is show open dislike for me. You don’t even pretend to like me and hate me behind my back as normal people do.” She made it look like she was an innocent victim and I was an irrational person out for her blood. She even insulted me in the end. So we ended up resolving nothing.

He likes To Stare At Women Who Have What I Don’t Have | Beads Media


Just last month, I was at my man’s place when something inside me pushed me to go through his phone. This time he was not there to interrupt me. I read all their chats. By the time I finished I was laughing hysterically, and it wasn’t a happy kind of laughter. I found out that the two of them have been having an affair for four years. All those times he made me look crazy, he was doing it to cover his shame. I was right all along.

After I pulled myself together I confronted him. Given the evidence I had, he couldn’t deny it. Instead, he got angry that I went through his phone. He told me, “When I’m ready, I’ll tell you what you need to know. I have a lot going on now. If you hadn’t gone through my phone to bring out my past we would have been living happily. I need some time for myself to think.” For a year I have been lied to, I have been insulted, I have cried, I have questioned my sanity because it was too much to take. We both have invested a lot into this relationship but I am at my breaking point right now. How do I go on with this? He is telling me it’s in his past, but how do I handle this?

–Akua

Do you have any relationship experience to share? Email it to [email protected]

NOTE: NO PART OF THIS CONTENT CAN BE REPUBLISHED OR REPRODUCED IN ANY FORM WITHOUT THE EXPLICIT CONSENT OF THE EDITORS OF THIS BLOG.

#SB