I’m here to tell the world that good men still exist in this world. I have read and heard stories of people swearing off love or anything to do with relationships. I have heard phrases like, “Fear men!” “Men will stain your white.” “Men will show you pepper.” “I will not fall in love with any man.” There are versions of these sayings that are directed at women as well. But I am not here to tell men about the hosts of good women out there. Today, my focus is on my sisters here and out there who have completely given up on love. I hope my story inspires you to hold on to hope.
In 2009, I went for a nursing training interview. I joined a bus on my way back. While I was sitting in my seat waiting for the bus to take off, a gentleman approached me. He had a big smile. “Hello I am Kobby,” he said, “I could tell from where I was sitting that you are not comfortable with your sitting partner. Will you prefer it if I sat by you instead?” I looked at him and thought, “Huh? Who is this guy?” then I shrugged and told him, “I don’t know. If only the man sitting next to me will agree to switch seats.”
By then, my sitting partner had alighted and was buying groundnuts. So Kobby went up to him and told him we were travelling together, but there was a mix-up with the ticket numbers. He asked the man if it would be a bother for them to exchange seats. The man agreed without hesitation and Kobby was so thankful that he paid for the man’s groundnuts. We clicked the moment he slid into the seat next to me. Within a few minutes of meeting him, I thought of him as a friend. And our friendship continued even after the journey ended.
We continued to be good friends till February 2011. That was the time he lay his heart before me, confessed his love for me, and asked me to be his girlfriend. I didn’t feel the same way about him but I said yes. I was just in a place where I was tired of men and anything to do with relationships. So I said to myself, “Kobby is a good friend so maybe things will work out with him. The good thing too is that I am in Kumasi and he is in Bolgatanga. The distance between us is long and perfect. He won’t be around to cause me any drama.” That is why I said yes to him. I didn’t even take the relationship seriously when we started.
I was then working at a fuel station because I didn’t get admission to nursing school despite several attempts. My future looked bleak as a result of this but that didn’t put him off. He assured me, “No matter what the future holds for you, know that I will be in there. I am here to stay. You are the woman I am determined to marry so get used to me being here.” The year we started dating, I applied to nursing school again. This time I wasn’t alone, I had him by my side. He took me through many interview questions and kept telling me, “You can do this. I believe in you.” His words of affirmation kept me going when anxiety almost crippled me during the interview sessions.
That very year I gained admission to a nursing training college of my choice. We went for my admission letter together, and that’s how we did a lot of things going forward. We were miles apart but he showed up for me whenever I needed his support. I can boldly say that he is my number one cheerleader. I have never felt alone since I met him. By God’s grace, I became his wife in 2014. Looking back at how amazing he has been with me and our kids, I know that I couldn’t have chosen a better father for them.
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Our marriage is a long-distance one, but the moments we share when we are together make up for the time we spend apart. I am not saying that everything is perfect between us. We have our problems. I have my flaws. I am a quick-tempered person, but Kobby has been understanding and patient with me, and by the grace of God, I am learning to control it. Whenever he visits us he bathes the kids, does the laundry, and cooks for us. When I try to help, he would tell me, “You do it all alone when I am not here. So I know you are tired. Rest, and let me take care of things while I am here.”
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Apart from that, we practically share everything together. We don’t have unnecessary boundaries. No one says to the other person, “Don’t touch my phone.” We even share the same password, and we use the same ATM pin. It isn’t because we trust each other beyond reason, it’s just that he has proven to me that he will cherish me till death do us part. One time an elderly woman told me, “Your marriage seems to be doing well because you don’t live with your husband.” I didn’t even dignify her comment with a response. Honestly, I know that it is God’s grace that is working for us, so it doesn’t matter the theories people will come up with it.
There was actually a point where we lived together for two years. I had gone back to school for further studies. I needed help with the kids and he stepped up to do it. He took care of their needs while I focused on my education. And now, by the grace of God and his support, I’m a proud midwife. I am also proud of the man my husband is. I have never looked back and had any regrets. He is my best friend and my confidante, and I appreciate him a lot.
My Kwabena Poku, I want to thank you for loving me despite my stubbornness. I love the way you help whoever comes your way. You are a man with a heart of gold, and a selfless king. I believe your personality will take you far in life. God bless you.
–Ama Cookie
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God bless you for sharing your story.
Awww, such a nice story, thanks for sharing. The negative stories are too much online, we need stories of this nature to inspire some of us to also get married.