Contrary to popular belief, girls are not the only ones who dream of their wedding day or the entire concept of marriage. Ever since I was a little boy, I have dreamt of finding that special someone and spending the rest of my life with her. I am what you call a hopeless romantic. I would do anything for someone I love. So I was sure that eventually I would meet the girl of my dreams and settle down with her. But something happened between me and my sister that changed my life completely. We were having an argument, which was typical of us, when shouted,  “Will you shut your stinky mouth?” It was the first time she had said something like that so it had me wondering if indeed, my mouth was stinking or if she only spoke in anger. For the sake of my peace of mind, I concluded that she said what she said because she was angry and that she didn’t mean it.

A few days after that incident, my uncle came home from school. While I was talking to him he asked, “Did you brush your teeth today? Come on, go and brush your teeth. You shouldn’t go about talking to people with your morning breath, it is a very uncouth behaviour.” I knew I had brushed my teeth so I didn’t let my uncle’s outburst bother me. I convinced myself that he was just being dramatic. However, my aunt also came home from school and mentioned it while I was talking to her. She wasn’t aggressive and humiliating about it. She told me, “It seems the toothpaste and toothbrush you are using are not good for you. I will get you new ones so we see if it will be better.” And truly, she did exactly what she said she would do. So I believed that there was indeed something wrong with my breath.

All of this happened in 2006. And from then till now I have used numerous types of kinds of toothpaste, mouthwashes, food supplements, and whatever I have been told would help my situation but nothing has worked. This has affected my social life to the core and it is now eating me up emotionally. My academic performance is not exempted either. Talking to people, especially women, is the most difficult thing in my life now. I am currently twenty-six but I have never proposed to a woman. How can I do that, when talking to the person alone makes them feel like I am punishing them? Because of this, I have turned into an introvert although that is not my natural temperament. Before all of this happened, I was every bit of an extrovert.

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My classmates don’t help matters when they turn their noses away from me whenever I speak. I could sit in class and be confused about a particular topic but I wouldn’t ask questions. Just because I don’t want to be embarrassed by my mates. No one has said anything to my face but their facial expressions and the way they whisper and laugh whenever I speak tells it all. It’s as if I’m always a joke waiting to be laughed at. I don’t blame them for behaving that way. Maybe I would have done the same thing they are doing if I wasn’t the one suffering from this predicament. I know the only way to silence them is if the problem goes away. I think about how this thing has affected my life and I wonder how long I can keep doing it.

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I ask myself, “What kind of woman will willingly spend the rest of her life with a man who has an incurable bad breath?” Yes, I am calling it incurable because day in and day out I try different medications with hopes that at least something would work but nothing has worked so far. This thing sounds like it’s not a big deal but it has turned my life upside down. The psychological mark it has left on me is even enough to make me tired of living. It got to a point where I wanted to take my life. Because what is the point of living if no one will talk to me? What is the meaning of life if I can’t have the woman I love? I won’t be able to get married as I dreamed of and I definitely won’t have the family I have always wanted.

Right now the only friend I have is my phone and the only place I feel safe is my bedroom. Even my own family shuns my company. This is why I have come to lay my problems on this page. There’s a popular saying in twi that translates, “It is when you sell your disease that you get a cure for it.” So I am selling my disease to the readers on this platform so that I may get a cure for it. I just want to live a normal life like any other person. So tell me, is there anything that can be done to heal this nightmare of my life? Brothers and sisters, please help me.

–Abukari

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