When I found Theresa, word out there was that she was the kind of woman every guy around had had their ways with. My friend Eddie told me, “Ma guy, Theresa is not a woman you can stay with: you hit and go. That’s what everybody does.” I answered, “That’s what I’m also going to do. If she says yes, I’ll make sure that I use her for a few days and vanish.” That was the game plan when I approached her that day. She was very calm and well-composed and nothing about her told the story of someone who sleeps around.
We became friends who texted each other once in a while during the day and later became friends who went to look for each other. After a month, I proposed to her and she asked, “Are you sure you’re not just like any of the guys? They come telling you all sweet things and later disappear when they’ve had what they came for.” I answered, “I’m not like that, besides, all guys are not the same. Some of us mean well.” She replied, “If you say so then we can give it a try.”
That day, I understood why it was easy for guys to hit on her. She doesn’t play hard to get. You love her; she loves you too. The very day she accepted my proposal, she spent the night in my room. She didn’t care that it was our first night and she didn’t give a damn about what I would think about her. She went all out with me that night and I was like, “If she is this easy to get, then I wouldn’t last a month.”
Two months later, Eddie came to ask me, “You’re still with her? I thought you said it was going to be short?” I didn’t know what to say so I told him, “I’ve left her long ago. It’s she who’s still pursuing me.” Eddie said, “Well, I’ve heard David has started hitting on her.” My heart skipped a beat and out of nowhere, this sense of jealousy crept into my mind. I said calmly, “I don’t mind. He can have her. I’ve had my bite already.”
That evening, I asked her about what David had been talking to her about. She only smiled and asked, “Are you jealous?” “No, I’m not. I just want to be sure he’s not taking advantage of you,” I answered. She laughed and told me not to worry because she’s not a kid to be taken advantage of. I started monitoring David to see his moves around her. Yeah, he spoke to her once in a while and it looked like the devil was in his eyes but Theresa’s demeanor didn’t look like she was interested. I was encouraged to stay calm and observe and all the while assuring myself that she was not worth the attention I was giving her.
Six months later, I was still with her. Eddie started mocking me; “My guy, you said a few days ooo. It’s been over six months already. What’s happening?” Is she your serious girlfriend now? Everyone is laughing at you. You better start moving.” I told him, “You don’t trust me that I’ve left her, right? She’s the one chasing me. I don’t care what anyone will say or do to her. She’s my back case.” Eddie told me, “David told me he had her last week and they spent the whole night together.” I went back into my memory. There was not a single night that week that I didn’t spend with her. It only meant David was telling a lie.
I told Eddie, “David can have her, I don’t mind. I’ll even be happy because she’ll stop chasing me around.”
In front of my friends, I denied her because I was ashamed to admit the truth and face the world with the truth. The truth was that Theresa had been an amazing girlfriend. She was somewhat naive but she wasn’t stupid. When she talked about her past relationship, she talked about it with passion and hurt. It wasn’t that she was cheap. It wasn’t that she gave sex freely. She craved the love of those she gave her heart to and they all disappointed her. She didn’t stop loving because according to her, she loved the idea of being loved; “You see how guys give you their all from the beginning? It’s nice. It makes me feel wanted and cared for. I wish it continues but somewhere it stops and they disappear but I still love to be cared for so I keep going. Saying yes to others so I can have one more chance to be loved.”
She wasn’t stupid. She was rather misunderstood from the deepest level. It’s the combination of her naivety and honesty that made me stick to her. She doesn’t hide her feelings and she doesn’t lie. Hardly. So when in my head I want to leave her because I couldn’t stand the name-calling, my heart kept telling me to stay. I felt jealous when someone came around. I felt I owed her some sort of protection but my mind wouldn’t let me love her freely.
A year and a half later, Eddie brought his book of records; “Officially, you hold the record of dating Theresa the longest. The record holder did it for only three months and you’ve done a year already.” I corrected him; “It’s been eighteen months. That’s more than a year.” He laughed at me and I helped him laugh but in the end, I told him the truth, “It’s not Theresa’s fault that guys come and they go. You can blame her for choosing stupid guys as lovers but you can’t blame her for the things those stupid guys did. She’s a good girl. That’s’ the most important thing and for the first time I’m going to admit that I’m in love with her.”
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Eddie looked at me like he had seen a ghost, with mouth open and eyes wide open; “You are in love? As in she’s your girlfriend and you’ll probably think of marrying her? A girl that everyone in this area has used?” I asked him, “What about you? Have you used her too?” I can’t blame Eddie, he’s a childhood friend and he loved me too much to watch me make a mistake. But I asked him not to remind me of Theresa’s past again because it was forward ever.
When a woman is loved right, she blossoms. Maybe that’s why their exes return just when they’ve found perfect relationships. They become better than they used to be. They glow knowing that someone loves them just the way they want to be loved. Theresa started glowing and all the guys who left started coming to hit on her. They came with the right words and character to win her back again, alas, there was no empty place in her life for them.
24th of November 2018, Eddie was my best man. He stood by my side while I declared my undying love for Theresa. He said, “She looks different. She’s really beautiful.” I answered, “That’s why she’s my wife.” Almost two years as a couple and we haven’t had any regret. We have a son—Pete, and he’s fast becoming the center of our joy.
